Peace Offering
by rachelAbendstern
Summary: After the end of season 4 Ryan takes some time reflecting on Natalia's actions and discovers similarities to his own...


Title: Peace Offering  
Author: rachelAbendstern  
Characters: Ryan Wolfe, Natalia Boavista  
Summary: You can't hold grudges forever...  
Disclaimer: No, they don't belong to me...  
Spoilers: End of season 4  
Author's Notes: Blatantly inspired by JacobedRose's 'Velocity'. You should go read it. It's really sweet!

Beams of sunlight fell through the vast expanse of glass that made out most of Miami Dade Crime Lab's inner and outer walls.

Ryan Wolfe slowly walked up to the break room, the sunlit path only broken by the metal beams and other solid parts of the construction. The progress on his current case was minimal and he definitely, definitely needed a break. Most of the time these days, he felt like walking through molasses...

With Eric and Horatio gone AWOL, the dayshift consisted of a total of two people for the time being. Both he and Calleigh had been pulling doubles to compensate for the teammates absence and it started showing. He had caught Calleigh covering up the circles under her eyes with layers of make-up in the locker room this morning and Ryan was pretty sure that he himself didn't look considerably better. He hadn't bothered looking into a mirror for the past couple of days.

He was decidedly against the...measures his two wayward colleagues had taken to take justice into their own hands. And he was more than a little angry with them for leaving the other half of their team high and dry to fend for themselves, not knowing when, if they came back. Still, it didn't once occur to him to let them down by asking Calleigh to look for replacements – not seriously, anyway. He had worked too hard to be a part of this team, this tight-knit group of friends to give them up now. And although he didn't always get along with all of them (his mind unconsciously conjured up the image of dark skin and heated, angry brown eyes) he still considered them his friends. Until this situation was resolved, one way or another, he wouldn't give up hope that they would come back in one piece, ready to refill the void they had left back home, maybe even regained some peace of mind. Although Ryan seriously doubted that hunting down Marisol's killer and executing him was the best approach to achieve peace of mind.

His musings abruptly came to a halt when he arrived at the break room. He stopped in the doorway, silently observing the slender, white clad tense back that was turned his way.

Her.

Natalia.

Ever since the Great Fallout the day that the Feds came sniffing around in the lab Ryan had been avoiding her. With Aaron's death (dear God, Aaron, he would miss his friend), the repercussions of his colleagues' rampage and the workload of cases, he had had enough on his plate without having to deal with _her_. She was the mole. She was the one who had been selling information concerning the lab to people who _wanted_ to find fault in Miami Dade Crime Lab's proceedings. She had slept with both Eric and him to get to this information. Ryan wasn't sure he was ever going to be able to forgive her for that.

_'You are being a hypocritical asshole, Ry!_' the unbidden thought sounded in his mind. As if his motivations in sleeping with her hadn't been exactly the same in order to find their mole (well, he had to admit that finding the mole wasn't the only reason he had taken her to his bed, but...) Hell, he even came short of accusing _Alexx_ of being the traitor. _Alexx!_ In the end, his friend had forgiven him only because she knew he just wanted to do the right thing, to discover a possible threat to the lab, a threat to his and her friends.

What Natalia had done wasn't that different. She just chose another way to ensure the lab's safety; or rather she was put on this other path by the people who had first approached her. And she had confessed to handing in only the best of reports on the CSI's achievements.

Ryan sighed tiredly, unintentionally bringing his presence to Natalia's attention. Her head snapped around and for a moment, her eyes met his. They were so full of longing, so full of both hope and resignation that Ryan suddenly remembered just why he had felt attracted to her.

Silently making his way to the coffee machine he felt his every single step being watched by anxious, wary eyes. Ryan knew how she felt; partly fearing that soon another scornful comment was thrown her way, partly hoping that her isolation would finally come to an end. Nowadays, Natalia spent almost all her time in the lab alone, be it during work or on break. The rest of the lab personnel only interacted with her when it was completely necessary. Ryan found a kind of reluctant respect for her endurance. She didn't give up. He could relate to that.

And after all, she had never meant them ill.

If anyone knew what she was going through now, it should be him. Lord knew he himself had fucked up big time on several occasions since joining the Crime Lab. The evidence he had practically stolen from Eric came to mind...or the little incident with Erica Sikes, the reporter. And yet, he had been forgiven.

Ryan also knew what it felt like to be given the third degree for completely unfair reasons. It had been how he had spent his first few weeks with his new colleagues, filling the place of a murdered friend and teammate.

No, she hadn't meant them ill and Ryan guessed it was time to let bygones be bygones. Whatever mistake she had made, she had paid for it by now. It was time that he and the rest of the Lab understood that.

Filling two cups with coffee, he asked without turning around, "Do you want milk or sugar with your coffee?"

Stunned silence, then, "What?"

The almost whispering, painfully hopeful voice made him feel even more ashamed of his behaviour lately. Although, in truth, he could not deny being grateful for having bee able to avoid her until now. With everything that had went down in the last few weeks, he had been so on edge he would have said words he would have regretted later on and not been able to take back had Natalia come into the mix then.

Turning around to face her, he repeated, "Milk or sugar?"

After another moment of silence, Natalia took his words as the peace offering they were, "Sugar."

Ryan put a lump of sugar into one mug and laced his own with milk before sitting down opposite of the woman and putting her mug down in front of her.

Hesitantly taking the hot cup into her hand, Natalia watched him intently before asking, "You're giving up on showing me the cold shoulder? Why?"

Ryan took a sip of his own hot brew, shrugging his shoulders, "I know what it feels like to fuck up and I know what it feels like to be shunned, so...Everyone makes mistakes. Life goes on."

Natalia nodded, a sad smile playing around her full lips. "But you're not apologizing for the way you treated me." It wasn't so much a question as a statement. And it was true.

"No."

"Why?"

Ryan returned her gaze unblinkingly "Because you would have treated me the same way were our positions reversed."

This time, her smile reached her eyes. "Probably."

In a way, it really was an apology in itself anyhow.

They didn't talk after that, but the silence that descended on them while they were drinking their coffee felt oddly comforting, companionable. Like they had reason to believe now that, with time, everything would turn out alright. The loneliness in Natalia's eyes had dimmed somewhat, and curiously enough, so had Ryan's.

The End


End file.
